Two Months: the good, the bad.

photo cred: amanda sadler

We've been married for TWO months. 

And it feels like seven. 

In a good way.

Everyone told me the first year is the hardest - that adjusting to each other is hard work. I haven't found the hard part yet. People also warned me I'd have wedding withdrawals. Nope. I loved my wedding and I love that it's done and I get to keep my husband forever.

Before we got married I was given tons of marriage advice (I asked for it). I especially craved advice from other newlyweds and found most of them couldn't articulate any real advice for us. That was frustrating to me.

That said, here's what I think we did right in the first two months of marriage.. and what we could have done better... maybe not "advice" as I know these things aren't feasible (or desirable) for everyone, but here it goes!


The Good:
1. We haven't plugged in our TV

the neglected TV

Honestly, we don't have time for TV with all our projects - but even if we did, I'd hope we'd keep it unplugged. Waste. of. time.


2. We have a candlelight dinner (almost) every night
Even if we heat up leftovers. We have tons of candles from our wedding so wasting candles is never an issue and I love that we eat dinner face to face, not in front of a TV. We get to talk about our days, our dreams, our struggles. And those days it's too rushed to be a candlelit dinner? Still face to face at the table.


3. We read together
Not every day. Some days there isn't time. But we are currently reading through "Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis as well as Ephesians. Doesn't always happen, but it's really lovely to read & discuss together.

4. We read apart
We try have about 45 minutes apart in the morning before work: Jeff spends his time praying and reading scripture. I spend my time working out and praying/reading. Some days it's REALLY HARD to do this. But, we do our best.

candlelit dinner

5. We've prioritized time together
We've given up time with other people to focus on this marriage thing. Now, I'm not saying we'll continue this trend... but I think it's been really important these first few months. And maybe that seems weird to others - but we really don't get that much time together, so we're cautious to keep it.



The Bad:
1. We've had too many projects
Too many projects = not as much time together. Sometimes it seems we do nothing but work on the house.

2. We go to bed way too late
We pack so much into our days that we run on about 6 hours of sleep. See #1.

3. We forgot to divide the chores
Before marriage, we discussed who would do what. And then marriage and house happened and now we have no idea who does what. Dishes, laundry, trash, and basic cleaning has mostly been shared without having to discuss, but things like cleaning the toilets.... the tub... dusting... well, it's not magically happening and it's way too easy to forget it has to be one of us!

4. I spent way too much time cooking in the first month
I decided to make all these complex recipes and was running to the grocery store almost daily after work. It was exhausting and time consuming. Now we sometimes just have super basic meals and it's so nice.

5. I can't think of a #5. The worst part so far has been that there are only 24 hours in a day and we're gone to work/workout/errands for 10-12 of them... get ready for the day/night for 1 of them... sleep for 6 of them... work on the house for 4 of them... and that leaves us with... an hour? Yeah, marriage is not the hard part. Life is.